Challenges

I never thought that it would be that hard to write letters to apply for grad school and research proposal. But after one weekend of doing that and a bunch of other things, I think that I’m done, well, I’ll still have to apply to one place before March 1st but it will be a piece of cake this time. And I also realized that it was the first time in the last three year that I had to write something really important in French, it was hard. It seems that my brain is now a weird mix of French and English!

What seemed to have made writings these letters even harder is that I had the feeling that January blues were coming this year again, plus the bunch of questions that I’m currently asking myself and the scary unknown. All of these together have made me feel a bit, I don’t know how to say it but sad and scared at the same time. But I’m lucky since I have good friends and that they know me quite well. Saturday night one of my best friends (if not my best friend) and I went for diner at a new Asian restaurant. It was really good and then she thought that some chocolate might be a good idea for me. So we went to the best place in Montreal for chocolate lovers, a restaurant where there is chocolate in basically everything I would say. After a good coffee (espresso and chocolate) and a brownie I started to think that those January blues were not going to get me this year. And this morning one of my good friends, called me and said that he would be at my place in few minutes. I guessed that he sensed that things were not that right when we talked earlier this week and that having a good chat might help. It did help, just talking about our fears and what is bothering us can make a huge difference. And sometimes, a long hug also makes things better. He is one of my friends with whom I have that feeling that I can talk about everything and I like knowing that we can count on each other when things get a little bit rougher.

The last challenge of the day was to tell my roommate that I might leave in July but chances are pretty high that I will. I’m applying for grad school in Montreal and Quebec City… and don’t know where I’ll go. I felt that it wasn’t right to tell her that we should resign our lease together, not knowing what I’ll do next year. She wasn’t really thrilled, but I know that being honest with her (and now) can pay off. She still has plenty of time to find a new roommate for our awesome apartment. And I’m starting to think that leaving in my own place, not shared with a roommate would also be really great; L and I don’t fight and have tremendous respect for each other but still, I’d like to have my own place.

And I'll try to post a bit more often, but this Environmental Philosophy class is keeping me way too busy! Too many readings to do!